


Scars

by chancellorxofxtrash (PhoebeMurdivine)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Gen, Identity Issues, Medical Experimentation, Scars, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-31
Updated: 2017-08-31
Packaged: 2018-12-22 05:58:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,760
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11961156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PhoebeMurdivine/pseuds/chancellorxofxtrash
Summary: Even if you touch your head, you won’t feel the scar.





	Scars

_ Even if you touch your head, you won’t feel the scar. _

That was what she said, and he couldn’t get it out of his head, as he struggled out of the room with the eerie green glow, and all the pods, and people waking up, and people  _ not  _ waking up.

_ I need to be alone a bit. _

That was what he said, as he could barely drag himself, his hair was everywhere, in his face, on his arms, in his mouth, in his nose, he could feel the weight of it bearing down from his scalp. His muscles tense and uncomfortable from the long weeks he spent unmoving.

Not even two months, but it was enough for him to become tense, and hard to move.

Somewhere deep within his brain, information kept spirring around about muscle atrophy, bed sores, and other different kinds of side effects of being in a coma, and he started to wonder how different their own situation would be.

The Neo World Program had to apply regular stimuli to their bodies in a way, to keep their bodies functional.

But then what about the people who actually did fall into a coma?

He ripped a door open, and he struggled inside, only to find a locker room.

One of the lockers were open, and there was something… shining.

A mirror.

He struggled forward, opening it, getting a good look at himself finally.

-

The first he saw was indeed the hair. Long, so long, and still messy, it seemed like his perpetual mess of a hair that stuck in every possible direction no matter what happened stuck around.

He was wearing a suit, obviously, he was barely even surprised.

His face was partially obscured by his hair, and he raised his shaking hands, to swipe the long locks of hair out of his face, to get a good look at himself.

His face was the same.

The same normal, not unusual at all face, a plain look - a bit paler than he remembered being, but then again, his memories were not to be trusted.

His eyes, though…

One of his eyes was the one he remembered, a pale, green colour.

The other was deep red.

_ What even is the purpose of making my eye red?  _ He found himself wondering.  _ What did they do? Did they remove all pigments in my eyes for some reason? No that makes no sense, they wouldn’t come back only in one of my eyes. Or maybe there is a point to the old saying that the eye is a gateway to a soul? _

He forcibly stopped his train of thought, grabbing onto his hair, and tugging on it almost desperately, until his scalp was hurting.

Focus.

He needed to focus, not let his thoughts be disorganized.

-

He eventually grew tired, his legs definitely not used to too much movement, so he sat down on a chair, facing the mirror, looking at his reflection.

His fingers were still shaking as he raised his fingers, undoing his tie, and he just let it fall to the ground. Next, he shook off his suit jacket.

Undoing the buttons on his shirt was hard with shaking fingers, and the more he uncovered from his chest, the more he saw the scars on himself.

There was a part of him, that was aware about what they were, in technical terms.

He didn’t want to listen to that part.

_ Smoked a few times, to release the tension he felt when he was under pressure by the academy. Even a few cigarettes have an effect on the body that they did not like. Easiest way to get rid of them was via surgery. _

Part of him wondered why the hell was that their go-to-response.

No medical professional would have done anything like that.

Other part of him thought  _ that was exactly their point. _

The academy thought they were smarter than anyone.

He desperately dragged the shirt off from himself, more and more scars. Not just the cigarettes, apparently his body needed a few more modifications, to make sure his body would hold up, that his body would work the way they wanted him to work.

Part of him didn’t even want to know what was done to his body.

Part of him already knew.

On his arms, there were multiple tiny marks, barely seen, marks of needles where IV was probably connected to his body.

_ Salts, glucose, amino acids, lipids and vitamins for nutrition. Immunoglobulins to keep the antibodies up. Propofol to make sure the subject stays asleep and will have limited memory of the events. _

He forcibly stopped his train of thought again.

He might not have remembered, but now, there was a part of him, that  _ knew. _

_ They probably planned to do cosmetic surgeries later, to cover up the scars. Possibly a complete change of facial features. They probably didn’t want their Ultimate Hope to be mistaken for a talentless nobody. _

“Stop” He muttered, pulling his own hair again. “Just… stop.”

Then the door to the locker room slowly opened.

-

The one who walked in was Kyoko Kirigiri, her face completely devoid of emotions.

“How are you feeling? Managed to collect your thoughts yet?”

Of course.

She was there to assess the risk he was posing to them.

He opened his mouth, but he couldn’t find the words, and Kyoko sighed.

“Alright. Who are you then?”

He slowly shook his head.

“I don’t… I don’t…”

“You called yourself Hajime Hinata during the shutdown” Kyoko pressed on. “Are you still him? Or are you Izuru Kamukura?”

“I… no… yes… don’t know…”

Kyoko walked closer, not breaking eye contact.

“What makes you confused?”

“I know things” He whispered. “Things I didn’t use to know. But I also… I… remember. I don’t… think I… he remembered these things. It’s almost like… having him whisper the information to me. Or… me whispering the information to him. I don’t know… where does Hajime Hinata end and where does Izuru Kamukura begin.”

She looked at him without a word, before walking closer, grabbing his wrists, pulling it away from his hair - that’s when he realised it that he was still pulling on his own hair.

“Alright. I think we need to give you a haircut first.”

-

Kyoko gave him back his shirt, before starting to work on cutting his hair, long locks of dark hair falling unceremoniously falling to the ground.

“You have to direct me with styling it a bit” Kyoko said. “I can go on by what I saw your hair be like in the Neo World Program, but I’m going to need your directions. If someone is an Ultimate Hairdresser here, it’s probably you, not me.”

He knew the answer for that, but instead, he just closed his eyes for a few moments.

“I don’t get it. Why would you help me? You helped all of us, trying to save us… but now… you know what I had done. All of this… was my fault.”

Kyoko didn’t lie.

She didn’t say it wasn’t.

“The issue is a lot more complicated than you present it to be. The Academy had fallen far, and Junko Enoshima simply dropped a match into an oil barrel. And all of you caught into fire. Many factors played a part.”

“Are you helping me because of guilt of what your father did?”

His voice was a lot more blunt, a lot more monotone than before, and then he just took a sharp breath.

Kyoko stopped, looking at his face in the mirror, before continuing.

“Yes, I suppose it is part of it.”

“I’m sorry, I…”

“Don’t apologise. You said it, didn’t you? You don’t know where one of you ends and where the other begins. Maybe you are not able to be only Hajime Hinata or Izuru Kamukura anymore. Maybe from this point on, it will be the two of you.”

“...did you have an idea this would happen?”

“No. This was nothing like we planned. The plan was to restore the Hajime Hinata-personality.”

“So your plan was to reverse what Hope’s Peak did. Kill Izuru Kamukura to create Hajime Hinata.”

It was silence again, as Kyoko kept cutting his hair.

“We did not know about you being Izuru Kamukura. You kept lying to us, didn’t you?”

He glanced up at her.

“What if you had known? Would that changed anything?”

“I believe Makoto Naegi would have been the type who would have wanted a similar solution to this. He would have wanted to create a situation where Izuru Kamukura and Hajime Hinata can both get a second chance.”

He really couldn’t find fault in that argument.

-

His hair was short now, and he ran his fingers through his hair, as he took a deep breath. His fingers felt more scars on his scalp, being covered by his hair, but…

He definitely felt the scars now.

“What are you going to do now?”

He lowered his hands, still looking into the mirror, now with mismatched eyes.

That will take some time to get used to.

“I want to wake the others up.”

He could do it.

If someone could do it, it would probably be him, no one else.

“Alright. That is definitely a first step. But you should be also trying to help yourself too, before you help others.”

“Self-care tips aren’t exactly helpful in my situation.”

“I don’t mean it that way. I mean even if you can’t figure out where does Hajime Hinata end and where does Izuru Kamukura begin, at least figure out a way to work together.”

The silence felt less and less heavy, weirdly, even though he was aware this was only going to get worse.

Once he steps out of here, going back to his awake friends, it will be hard. Full of heavy silences, and so many thoughts and probably even tears.

The rest are going to wake up, one by one, and they are going to do the screams, the pain, the guilt over and over again.

And after they leave the faculty…

He stopped his own train of throught again, and took a deep breath.

“Let’s go.”

He followed Kyoko outside, and back to the others, back to the eerie green glow of the pods.

Beyond this otherwordly light, and all the machines and wires, there was a chance for a future they could help create.

But even before that, he - Hajime Hinata, Izuru Kamukura, both or either, it didn’t matter - he had a goal to achieve.

Before everything else, he had to wake everyone up.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
